“We have to figure out how you got here!”
Those were some of the first words my therapist said as I sat opposite her crying. OK, sobbing. My partner of 10 years had left me for someone else. I was the non-bio Mom of our 5 y.o. son. In addition to sharing our son, my suddenly ex-partner shared a home, business, a life. Everything was falling apart!
That was over 20 years ago and the beginning of the hardest and most gratifying work I’ve ever done. In fact, I continue to reap the rewards of creating a more-often-than-not happy and healthy human experience.
Back then, I dove in deeply to figure out the answer to that question and was fortunate to have a skilled and loving therapist to guide and support me. I came to understand that while I was a great advocate for others, I wasn’t so good at speaking up for myself.
What did I want? What did I need?
These questions were so foreign to me back then. I didn’t know the answers. Even underlying the idea that I did have wants and needs was an unfamiliar place. My self-awareness was asleep or underdeveloped. I laugh now, but back then it was daunting. I mean really, who was I? OY!
At one point during this journey of self-discovery, I decided to take an adult education course in improv with my son. I had always had an interest in theater and was rebuilding my social circles. He was in middle school, on the shy side, and yet vibrant and thriving in theater. It seemed like something fun we could do together.
Improv Opened Up Another Door for Me
It was a blast and led me to taking more classes on my own. Over time and with experiences with others in a fun and safe environment, I got to practice sharing ideas, listening to others, and building stories together.
How was improv so helpful?
It was like a gradual awakening to this shared space between people that facilitated improv could provide. I could take a little risk and be a little vulnerable in a playful way. I could develop trust for myself and others bit by bit. The kind of positive social experiences that we can all benefit from whether to help us grow or just to have fun together!
I share more detail “A Lifetime of Learning in 60 Second Improv and paradoxically how the “Yes and…” principle of improv has helped me to practice saying “No“.
In conjunction with psychotherapy, these opportunities helped me to identify and have compassion for my codependent tendencies and slowly, but surely develop interdependent relationship skills. I now have a black belt in boundaries!
And now teaching improv is a huge focus of my life!
The antenna I originally developed to pick up on others’ needs and wants along with my personal growth work, Masters in Organization and Management, and years of improv classes have helped me to develop the facilitation skills I need to be an applied improv teacher. I love creating a safe and fun environment for others to have positive social experiences, to play and grow, find joy with themselves and each other.
Last Fall I was up at Dartmouth facilitating a day-long session on Cultural Sensitivity which included a variety of improv activities and friend/colleague, Liz Korabek-Emerson, MFA and I are offering our extraordinary Mindfulness and Improv methodology, Be Fiercely Human to the business community for building trust, communication, creativity and all sorts of great stuff. We are also offering some stress-reduction sessions to the public on September 18, 2020 and October, 16th, 2020.
I have recently added the credentials of CP to my name and now proudly state I am a Certified Applied Improvisation Practitioner with a growing focus on train the trainer medical improv. Together we can create a positive rippling effect for safer, more compassionate care for everyone!
A Picture Worth 5,000,000,000 Words
And meanwhile my son, Curran Boynton Russell and I have an amazing connection. We enjoy cooking together when he visits from India where he is a High School Drama Teacher.
The post What I was learning in therapy, I could practice in improv! appeared first on Portsmouth Improv Learning Lab.
